Something Different

I'm going to do something different. I like to be encouraging and helpful, but rright now I'm just gonna share what's going on.
Four precious children, an amazing supportive husband... and a mountain of unpaid bill's. We live in a two bedroom apartment, we don't live near any family, we live almost 50 miles from our church that we love so much, we don't own a car (yet) in fact we've been driving around in a rental this last week just to get to church work... and wherever else.
Right now, I'm sitting in our rental with four kids playing around, and the rain is coming down... my husband has been dropped off at work and we are sitting in the parkinglot literally waiting to find out if my husband will still have a job at the end of the day. There is a 48 hr shut off notice laying on the floor of my house... and almost no food in the fridge. When I say I have peace about my life and about the circumstances I'm faced with, I mean it. When I say that you can find joy in uncommon places, I'm really talking about myself. And sometimes I need to rmind myself that joy and peace are NOT circumstancial. My husband is the hardest worker I know. He has incredible work ethics that people seem to no longer have these days. His boss set his up, and conspired against him, and has given him a 30 day notice to "fix" the problems that he created for my husband. That was about 40 days ago, and today is the first day he is to be speaking with his boss about his preformance.

I lean on God for every ounce of strength I can get! And believe me, when I stop looking at myself, and stop having pity-parties, when I actually pull myself together and thank god that my husband was protected from severe injury during the car accident that took our only car, I find peace. TOday I was reading the story of the ten lepers that Jesus healed, and how only one came back to thank Him, I was reminded how little these lepers had! They were not allowed in the city because of their disease. How little I feel I have sometimes. But God has given me tremendous blessings! (Four little kids, and a husband... and even a goldfish :)) how dare I complain henHe has given me life!

So every trial we are going through, I am thanking God. And I'm telling you this, not to "toot my own horn" but maybe to show you that we CAN do ALL things through Jesus Christ who gives us strength. And not just that but God has more in store for my family.
I admit, I fail God, I fail my kids and my husband a lot! I get angry, I stress, I yell, I nagg... I want to be perfect, then get mad when I'm not. I can't say that any amount of patience is my own, but I can say that every amount of patience God gives me: my kids, my husband, and I really benefit from it. I have never learned to lean on and trust God so much as I have since I got married and had kids.
I can't do this alone. I can't do this without God, I cant do it without my family and friends who have supported me and loved me through this. Without all that, I wouldn't be able to handle everything that's been thrown at me. I love my Lord, and I love my family who has been a pillar of strength for our family. And I am so thankful for everyone who has loved us and prayed for us dduring all this.
This is just my story... to be soon concluded with an amazing testimony of more of Gods greatness!