So here I am living in a house with a very prideful man. I knew this going in, yet somehow it doesnt make living with him any easier. I'm not talking about my husband.
Today as he stood up my husband for a breakfast outing, i found myself in an outrage. How dare he! How could he? Why??
Well anyways I began flipping through my Bible. How noble of her, you say? No, I was trying to prove myself right in my anger and see just how much of a detrement to himself he was being by finding it in the Bible. Here I was alone in my thoughts thinking how he wronged us, how much better I am than him. (The apple doesnt fall far from the tree!) I'm all puffed up! I had a glimpse of my own bitterness and pride as I vented to my best friend.
I was noticing something the other day as I sat with my brother. When you hold on to your anger over something, no matter how justified you are in it, your bitterness begins to burn in your heart. Causing strife. That strife pushes you away from the very people you love. But still we sometimes hold on to that. Trying to justify our thinking by saying things like "they had no right to..." Or "I did nothing to deserve...." Or how about "they wont get away with it, because even though I'VE forgiven them, GOD will judge them!"
Oh yeah! Thats just how God wants us to think! *note the sarcasm* so I read a few Bible verses and feel justified in my anger, yet my anger doesnt leave. I'm still mad. I still feel the need to tell him something. I begin to realize that this feeling isnt right. Gods Word tells us a lot about pride and its destruction, about what pride is. In Romans 6:16 it talks about what you put your mind to becomes your master.
What am I putting my mind to? Bitterness? Resentment? Puffed up thinking? Or am I focusing on love? Forgiveness? And believing the best in people? (Heres a hint, its not the last option!) The realization that while someone else made a mistake, I delebrately allowed my mind to wander to a place of bitterness which is far worse than what went on in the first place. I cant be bitter. I cant allow that to become my master! I cant keep a record of wrongs. These things are soul eating parasites!
Just realizing that I can be just as prideful as the Bible warns me about, and being bitter leads to pride. I'm going to try and stay away from it all. Yea I kinda failed miserably this morning, but thank God for a faithful Father who forgives, and washes us clean. Time to replace all the negative thoughts with thankfulness!
