His Love is Perfect

Sometimes through trials come the most significant and insightful Words of your life. While this may not be the most significant, it was so profound to me and touched me deeply. I love my husband dearly, he means the world to me. We have a fabulous marriage, and I'm very very blessed to be his wife, that being said though, not every moment is perfect. In one of those less than perfect moments I prayed to God asking Him "God, why are relationships so hard?". I understand that to have a great relationship with your spouse it takes a lot of work and even more patience and understanding. More like all the fruits of the spirit! love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, etc etc. That's not what this is about though. As I prayed I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me answering my silly and kind of obvious question with "because no love is perfect, except mine!"
After I heard that in my mind, I fell asleep and began dreaming. In my dream God was singing (I could not see God but just knew)And God sang to me "Your grace is renewed. Your grace is renewed." behind Him was a choir of angels singing "His Love is Perfect, His love is Perfect" the song was so beautiful that there is no way it could ever be duplicated on earth. I'm not telling this as a bragging thing, but more so as a reminder to myself the tremendous love God has for me. So I can look back when I'm discouraged and feeling like God isn't there, I can remember, His love IS perfect!
What happened next is so typical of us as humans, and as children born in sin. My husband came in to spend time with me, and show me he loved me. I was woken up from a beautiful song, and my husband didn't say everything I wanted him to say. He didn't apologize like I thought he should, he didn't touch me like I wanted him to. His eyes didn't show the compassion that I was expecting, or wanting. So instead of listening to the voice of the Lord, I was angered at my husband. I was irritated that he wasn't living up to his full potential. This was simply a moment of me being so blinded by the log in my eyes that all i could see was wood, and assumed it was my husbands fault.
After a few minutes of a brief argument followed by: "lets forgive each other and start the day over", we made up and then I remembered my dream and my prayer. I shared it with my husband, and things are back to normal with our date night back on the schedule for tonight.
Why cant we be perfect? Why cant we love perfectly? As much as I like to think I love my husband perfectly, reality is that I don't! And I am human, and I make mistakes, and so does my husband. If I want his forgiveness for being overly emotional, or choosing bitterness over gentleness, then I need to forgive his shortcomings as well. No one is perfect, even though I completely believe my husband is perfect for me. Truth is only God's love is perfect!

Faith in your faith? or Faith in God?

First let me say that since having a computer, I'm now completely confused as to how this whole things works. pictures...? How on earth do i get them here?! The right click thing on my mouse isn't working, and now I'm stuck >.<
So on to what I was going to say, a lot of things in my life right now are requiring lots of faith. From health issues with my grandma, to no job for my husband (still), to seemingly nice opportunities in other states, and we really need to know what way to turn. My husband and I set aside a week to really pray, and for part of it we fasted. We don't want to move if that's not God's will, however our situation right now really seems impossible. Is God the God of the impossible? I believe He is, yet my flesh cries out for something simpler, something that maybe we could do on our own without having to depend on God for every.little.thing. But isn't that how He likes it?
As my husband and I struggled with why we don't have a job, and why my grandma's health has been failing even after so many prayers, and why we still have to live in a small 2 bedroom apartment with four little kids to care for, etc etc. Our conversations had somehow turned to the questions of "do we have enough faith?" . Without realizing it, at our care group the leader said something that hit so hard it's been on my mind ever since. He said "it's not about having faith in your amount of faith, it's simply just having faith in God" oh! DUH!!
So all this time I've been thinking to myself, do I have enough faith? Is it enough for _____ to happen? When all along all I needed to do is know that: it's not about trusting my faith to get the job done, it's just about trusting God to get the job done. Okay, maybe I'm the only one realizing this, but I have to say it was a big eye opener!
Since care group that night my husband and I felt strongly that we knew the answer to if we should move or stay. God has us here for a purpose, and the sooner we accept that, the sooner we can fulfill that purpose. Although to be honest, the grass sure is greener on the other side. But if God is not wanting you to make that decision, or take the step, or make the move, then that grass will soon wither and be scorched with fire.
Just sayin' ;)

Persistence

Right now in my life I would have to say that persistence is one thing I wish would come by me easier than it has been. Persistence, or endurance, or even motivation, would all be very nice if it came gift wrapped with a nice bow on top. Unfortunately it doesn't come like that and more often than it not, those qualities come through hardship, life experience, trial and error, or if your lucky it comes through the persistence of your parents in their ways of raising you. But for those of you who were raised in a more hap-hazard, "go-with-the-flow" kind of life then these qualities are not ones that come by you easily. I've often wondered to myself why I'm not where I thought I was supposed to be in my life. and though I could be wrong, I think a lot of it comes down to my lack of perseverance. my eyes were opened to several examples in the Bible of people who persevered, and didn't give up, and because of that they received what God wanted for them.

First lets look at Joseph:

You could look at his life and say either he had terrible luck, or he had great luck, depending on how you view it. He was thrown in a pit because of a dream he had, he was thrown in jail because of his stand for purity and justness, but then he was made second in command at a very crucial point in time. Through all of it though, he kept his belief, he had a good work ethic, he didn't throw up his hands in despair. He never gave up! However, it took years and years and years of one seemingly hopeless situation after another for him to be put where God wanted him. He kept a good attitude and therefore everyone around him respected him.

Second example would be David:

There was a reason God picked him for king. We all know the tale of David and Goliath. But what if David had been afraid just as his brothers? What if he didn't speak up? He didn't stop at asking questions about why no one would fight Goliath, he didn't simply do his job. He had good work ethics. David did above and beyond what was asked or required of him. David brought food to his brothers in the camp, But tried urging them to do their job in fighting Goliath. (although to no avail)So David took it upon himself to face the giant, and in coming at him in the name of the Lord, David killed Goliath. No fear, No waiting and pondering and wondering, no sitting for days fasting about what to do. David knew what he needed to do, and did it. David went on to become the greatest king in all of Israel.

Third person to look at is Elijah:

Elijah is respected as a great prophet. He did many wonderous signs and miracles in the name of the Lord. At one point a widows son had died and the widow who had been taking care of Elijah (although she was very poor and had nothing in her house but flour and oil) Her son died from sickness. She blamed the man of God for reminding her of her sins and bringing this upon her. Elijah went right away taking the boy and cried out to God. He stretched his body out on the boy and prayed. But Elijah didn't do this just once or twice. He did it three times each time pleading with God to give the boy his life back. This man of God did many many miracles that he only needed to say once for it to come to pass. I don't know if he was surprised about the boys life not returning immediately but usually his words came to pass right away. He didn't give up in asking God until God listened to him and it was granted.

One last example and I will leave you to your thoughts:

Just after God revives the life of the widows son, [1 Kings chapter 17, 18]God spoke to Elijah telling him that rain would soon be coming and to present himself to king Ahab (who had been seeking Elijahs life). So Elijah, unafraid Went before kind Ahab and told him to send the prophets of Baal to build an alter. Elijah mocked the prophets as they chanted and danced but their god could produce no fire. After Elijah had prayed for the peoples hearts to be turned back to the One True God, Elijah built his alter to God filling it with water and of course God sent down fire so hot that it even burned the stones! Well God had promised rain. Elijah full of faith believed God, and told king Ahab to go get food because rain would be coming. Elijah goes up Mount Carmel to pray for rain. Stop right there! God had promised rain, why is Elijah now on his hands and knees praying for it? Elijah sends his servant to look over the mountain for any sign of rain. Nothing. Elijah gets down on his hands and knees again. sends his servant up again to see any sign of rain. Still nothing. Elijah doesn't get discouraged. he doesn't stop at three times. And he doesn't stop praying until he sees the cloud. Is that what God wants from us? to not stop asking until we receive what He has promised? It's not until Elijah has sent his servant (and had bowed on his hands and knees to pray) Seven times that finally the servant reports that he see's a small cloud. Remember that God had promised rain to Elijah, So why didn't Elijah just "walk in faith" and "believe" God for the rain? ... No Elijah did something about it, and didn't relent until the promise was fulfilled! Elijah beseeched God seven times for rain. No giving up, no waiting, no just walking around knowing it will happen. Elijah PRAYED.

Now when hardships, trials, unemployment, failing marriages, poor health and anything else comes your way, if God has promised you something different from what you have, don't just wait. PRAY! don't just believe, pray! and don't just pray, DO!!!!

from bad to worse, to God's mercy

This day has been quite the trying day! I think I'm overly sensitive or something today, and my husband is too... maybe it's the full moon. but one argument about stupid things after another, getting more and more heated as the day wears on. We had a birthday party for our sons best friend to go to at 5. by 5:30 i was seconds away from texting her and letting her know we couldn't make it. but as it would turn out God had a plan. i didn't want to go because I was in a bad mood by then, and my husband was in the same boat. But when we got there the people welcomed us in with loving arms. In fact the whole place, and atmosphere reminded me of home. The home i remember fondly. The people the way they talked their culture was my culture. I've not been able to quite fit in as nicely with my husbands family as i like, still lost on how to play their game. Saying the wrong things at the wrong time. Something about this family was so familiar with my own that i could dive right in as if I already belonged to the family. I connected with the people there and genuinely enjoyed myself. I don't know if God was using me to help or be there for others, or if He was using others to help and be their for me, either way I was humbled by the fact that after a day of yelling and bickering and quite honestly, not walking in love, God still did not leave me. After the party as my husband and i were putting the children in the car, I looked up at him and asked "are we ok?". Though it had been a rough day emotionally for the two of us, this party was a relief. It helped us to forget our differences, remember that we are a family, and remember why we work so well together. I know that this was something God wanted us to attend, but surely satan was trying to keep us from going. I'm thankful to God for His mercy, and His grace! Where would I be without it? tonight is a peaceful night, with happy hugs and affectionate pats. Not silent glares and slamming doors. I'm trying to get the point across that God didn't leave me, even when i covered myself in sin and anger. There's a verse in the Bible that says "be angry and sin not" ... I think I ignored the "sin not" part. I was angry and vengeful, why would God still choose to help me? That party was a bit of home to me. Anyways, I am thankful for all this. Thankful for the chance to see how merciful God is, how Loving God is, and how God will still turn the worst of days into a good day! just thought I would share that tidbit.