Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as "my dear husband." You'll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.
I'm not about to get up and say Ive got this figured out, or that Im good at this, so dont think Im trying to preach. Well maybe I am... but to myself more than anything.
In our society I've noticed things are a bit backwards in the roles and relationship between a husband and wife. Women have begun to demand respect from their husband, yet lack in giving respect to them. Instead women have been Loving their husbands (and of course this is great!) But have almost completely elliminated respect from the relationship. WhileIve seen the men giving respect to the women, placing their opinions as greater than their own, taking their advice (at least while they are being watched) and in general submitting themselves to their wife.
I'm on a journey to discovering what true respect is. I have been shown a great deal of respect from my Husband, and I love it. He values what I have to say, taking my opinion into consideration. He respects my body. He doesn't demand from me what I don't want to give. He respects my food choices however absurd they can be sometimes, and will buy me what I like. I love being respected. I love that he can admit when Im right and he's wrong (who wouldn't?!) But am I doing what God called me to do as a wife? Am I respecting him?
Here are a few things that I notice a LOT of women doing that are disrespectful:
1: Complaining about their husband to their friends.
2: Ignoring what their husband asks and does what they want instead.
3: Nagging. Example: he said he would take the trash out hours ago, so u complain at him for not taking it out, getting irritated because after saying he will still do it, it still hasnt been done, keep bugging him about it until he gets angry and refuses, or takes it out just to shut you up.
4: Arguing with him in front of other people. (There is a time and place for disagreements, but when you are around other people dont disrespect him by making him look bad by having an unruly wife, somethings cant wait to be discussed, thats when the two of you excuse yourself and discuss it in private)
5: Holding grudges. Example: he did something wrong last week, maybe hurt you by saying something he shouldnt have, or maybe he looked at porn. So you deny him your body. You dont sleep with him because he hasnt earned the right.
Ephesians 5:24 MSG
So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
Okay, so there are 5 examples that I see happening all the time. I've been guilty sometimes, but Im actively working at changing that.
Respect should not just be given when its demanded. And though respect is really hard to give when you cant find a reason to respect your husband, it doesn't mean you are off the hook.
1 Peter 3:1-4 NIV
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
Don't go on a theological debate about wether or not we should wear makeup, or nice clothes.
This verse is about being beautiful on the inside, so much that your husband is completely in love with who you really are, not how you look. Because like it or not, LOOKS always faid! And if you want your husband to love you forever, make sure your beauty is the kind that lasts forever! This kind of beauty is enhanced by our respect for our husband. Just like we like being respected. We dont want our husbands laughing at our expense to their buddies, we shouldnt either.
Women talk... women talk about other people, its our natural tendancy (in general), but complaining about our husbands, or how "he always say's he's going to do ____ for me, but never does" or "he's so crude when hes around his friends it's disgusting" how about "he said _____ to me last night, he's such a jerk! I dont deserve to be treated like that!"
Think about it, check the motive of what you are telling your friends. Are you slandering him behind his back? Sometimes we need to get it off our chest. We need to talk. But check your motives first. And even still, when things are at its worst, try to find at least one positive thing about your husband that you can share.
Oh! And dont tell everyone! One or two good friends that will pray with you or give you Godly counsel is fine, but don't tell all your girlfriends.
Now I was given a book about how to respect your husband, written by a lady who had a very "grandma" hair cut, long dress, with no skin showing. She wore simple pearl earrings and almost no makeup. I couldnt finish the book. It's not me at all. I wear makeup, i dont think i should be someones doormat, im opinionated, I wear sexy outfits for my husband when he comes home. I speak up and I like to debate! I'm not naturally submissive!! Im not a quiet church mouse. For me... submitting and respecting my husband are not easy. But if I can manage... I think you can too... come to think of it, maybe my husband should have written this. Lol. He would be able to tell you the do's and don'ts. Take a few tips from here, and apply it. See if your attitude changes towards your husband, and if his changes towards you.
We are all Gods creation, we are all loved by God, we are called to love others and Christ did. And Divorce is caused by a hardened heart. So pray that your heart would be changed and moved to be open to your husband, and his too.
Dont let lack of respect for your husband push him to hide things from you.
And I will be revisiting this to read it myself when i need to, I'm sure. No one is perfect! But lets all try to do our part in our marriages!
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